A New School Year

 

Back to School Road Sign

Back to School

It’s the beginning of a new school year and this can bring with it a mixture of anticipation, excitement, anxiety and stress for parents and students alike.  Far away from what might have been a relaxed, unstructured Summer break for the students, the new school year brings new faces, homework, and structured, scheduled activities. 

Some tips for getting back into the school routine, physically and emotionally!

1.       The benefits of a good night’s sleep for all of us can help energise and focus us for the day ahead.  Sleep is also key to ensuring our memory consolidates, by helping different pieces of information we have learned in the day to come together.  Talking with your child about the benefits of sleep and how this can help them physically and emotionally may be useful, as will getting back into meal and bedtime routines at least a week before school starts.

 2.       With every new school year can come a fresh start.  A chance to take on new opportunities and set new goals.  Discussing and setting some goals with your child perhaps about activities they would like to be involved in, or how they would like to develop can be a helpful start to the school year.

 3.       For any anxious child, helping them get to know the setting of the school (if it is a new one) can help.  Even if it is not possible to visit inside the school beforehand, walking around the surrounding area can be reassuring. Visualise with your child the new classroom experience being successful, and encourage them to visualise themselves feeling calm and confident as they meet other students and new teachers.

It is not at all unusual for children to feel worried about the beginning of the new school year, particularly if he or she is also having to make a transition into a different school.  After a few days or weeks, any anxiety should lessen, but if it continues, then speaking to a form teacher can be a good first step to seeing how best to support your child.  Alternatively, seeing a counsellor within the school or externally can provide additional support. 

www.pacecounselling.co.uk

 

 

Advertisements

Managing Anxiety

Anxiety

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths” (Charles Haddon Spurgeon)

Experiencing stress and anxiety is something that we all have from time to time, but it’s when feelings of anxiety stop you from doing things in your life and begin to feel overwhelming that it’s worth exploring ways of managing the feelings differently.

There are a number of physical, psychological and behavioural symptoms that people can experience when they feel anxious, and Anxiety UK details some of these:

  • Increased heart rate
  • Increased muscle tension
  • “Jelly legs”
  • Tingling in the hands and feet
  • Hyperventilation (over breathing)
  • Dizziness
  • Difficulty in breathing
  • Wanting to use the toilet more often
  • Feeling sick
  • Tight band across the chest area
  • Tension headaches
  • Hot flushes
  • Increased perspiration
  • Dry mouth
  • Shaking
  • Choking sensations
  • Palpitations

Some of the most common thoughts that people can have when they are experiencing anxiety are:

  • Thinking that you may lose control and/or go “mad”
  • Thinking that you might die
  • Thinking that you may have a heart attack/be sick/faint
  • Feeling that people are looking at you and observing your anxiety
  • Feeling as though things are speeding up/slowing down
  • Feeling detached from your environment and the people in it
  • Feeling like wanting to run away/escape from the situation
  • Feeling on edge and alert to everything around you

Sometimes it may be possible to identify a particular event or incident that has caused your anxiety, e.g. relationship problems; bereavement; job interview; moving house. Other times, it may be difficult to pinpoint exactly what may have triggered the anxious or stressful feelings. There might also be a build up over time of different stresses.

Anxiety can put us into “fight or flight” mode, with our brain thinking that it needs to protect us from a threatening situation, even though there may not  be any real current threat. This is often a result of an outdated response linked to an event or experience in the past which may still be having an impact, and getting triggered in the present. E.g. a childhood experience of feeling embarrassed or humiliated at school when speaking out in class being linked to a fear of speaking out in a team meeting at work or delivering a presentation.

Counselling and hypnotherapy can be helpful in dealing with both the underlying causes of anxiety and in developing strategies for managing situations and feelings, so that they do not begin to overwhelm you.

Here are some of my top tips for reducing anxiety at difficult times:

  1. Focus on your breathing; slowly and deeply. Breathe in for the count of 4 and out for the count of 8
  2. Distract and occupy yourself with something else, e.g. make a cup of tea; take a bath;
  3. Take some gentle exercise, e.g. walk, yoga
  4. Talk to someone
  5. Visualise a calm peaceful place, perhaps somewhere you have been or would like to go, e.g. a beach, a lake, and imagine a bridge that you can cross in your mind that takes you there
  6. Use grounding techniques to distract yourself, such as using all your senses, e.g. noticing what is around you and saying to yourself, “The walls are white; there are four grey chairs; there is a wooden bookshelf against the wall…”
  7. Describe objects, sounds, textures, colours, smells, shapes, numbers, and the temperature. This is something you can do anywhere.
  8. Dig your heels into the floor-literally “grounding” them. Notice the tension centred in your heels as you do this. Remind yourself you are connected to the ground.
  9. Remember the words to an inspiring song, quote or poem.
  10. Play a categories game with yourself, e.g. think of types of animals, names of countries that begin with the letter ‘A’ etc. This form of mental grounding can help distract you from any overwhelming feeling.

If the feelings of anxiety or stress continue, or you have been experiencing these feelings for some time and are finding it difficult to manage them, a combination of self-help using the above top tips, and seeing a professional counsellor and/or hypnotherapist can help. By having a space to talk about and explore your feelings, you will be able to gain an understanding for yourself about what the underlying causes and issues may be, and develop lasting strategies for overcoming these.

If you would like further help in resolving and managing anxiety, please contact sharonc@pacecounselling.co.uk for an initial discussion or telephone Sharon on 07936 556314

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/

(Anxiety Graphic by Adele Palmquist)

 

Empty Nest Syndrome

Empty Nest Syndrome is the name given to the feeling of sadness that can affect parents when their children have left home.  It is certainly natural to feel a bit low when your children first leave home. Often there is a big build up to them leaving with so much to be done. Once they have gone, it can suddenly hit you and the house can feel very empty and quiet. One Mum in her late fifties describes how she felt when her last son left home.

“The thing I found most strange was the tidiness of the house. Nothing moved during the day, and although this was nice it was also quite a lonely feeling. I do remember moving things around just to make the space feel lived in.”

If you are feeling a bit sad when your children have left, it’s really good to talk to other people about how you feel. You will soon come to realise that you are not alone with your feelings and it is reassuring to know that other parents are also feeling a bit miserable and slightly redundant. For women this time can often coincide with the menopause when emotions are already running amok and this combined with other commitments such as work, home and perhaps dealing with elderly parents can leave women feeling very down. It can be a time of conflicting emotions and sometimes a fear that life is never going to be the same.

In this day and age it is easier to keep in touch with children once they have left and phoning, texting and emails can help regular contact which may feel more reassuring. However it is important to allow space between yourself and your child once they have left home, and not be concerned if they don’t reply straight away. Just remember, it’s quite natural to worry about them. You may miss their companionship and being a part of their daily lives but you can allow yourself to feel proud that your children have the confidence to leave home and “are on their way” wherever that may lead to in the future.

When your children have gone it’s important to think positively of this new phase in your life. You can spend more time doing things you enjoy and maybe take up a new interest and catch up with friends who you haven’t seen for a long time. Things won’t be quite the same but just because things are different it doesn’t have to mean not as good.  The Mum quoted earlier in this piece says that once she had adjusted to her children no longer being at home she felt differently.

“There are certainly now upsides and we do now enjoy having the house to ourselves but I definitely need to have plans in the diary to see the boys at regular intervals.”

Everyone will be different in how they cope with or react to their “Empty Nest.” You do need to give yourself time to adapt but if you feel overwhelmed by your emotions and you are feeling down and tearful, then it maybe that you do need a little support to guide you through this transitional time. If this is the case then a visit to your GP may help to talk things through and your GP may suggest some counselling.

 http://www.familylives.org.uk/

 Many thanks to Louise Convisser, freelance writer, for this article.

If you know anyone who is struggling emotionally with issues such as these or with other difficulties, counselling can provide a confidential space to talk things through. Please e-mail sharonc@pacecounselling.co.uk or telephone Sharon Convisser on 07936 556314 for an appointment or initial discussion.